Blind Faith
by ilovemedia18
Summary: Before the world knew them as the Saints they were her saints. They were able to look past her physical faults and treated her with a loving tenderness that she didn't know existed. She used to pray to God and Saint Anthony to restore her sight, instead they sent her something better. Two brothers who could lead her out of the dark and one that could teach her to love and be loved.
1. Blind meeting

It had been a long day and I was ready to just go to bed. My apartment building was being fumigated because there were termites found in one of the downstairs apartments. My dear friend Maggie offered to let me stay with her until I could go back to my place, an offer I gratefully accepted. However, I had to go to work with her first before she could take me back to her place. There wasn't enough time after I got done at the school and when her shift at McGinty's so here I was sitting in a booth listening to my second audio book of the night sipping on my fifth glass of water. I didn't mind waiting for Maggie to finish her shift, I didn't even mind the rowdy crowd around me. What I did mind though were the idiots who tried to come and talk to me. There was a reason I had headphones on but apparently that meant nothing to some people. A few guys offered to buy me a drink, I politely told them no and after ten minutes of trying they eventually left me alone. Maggie would always come over and check on me afterwards but I always waved her off telling her I was fine.

As the night wore on the crowd got rowdier as the drinks poured out. I was doing fairly well at being left alone and for a moment thought that the rest of my night would pass by uninterrupted. This, however, was not the case. A guy sat down next to me in the booth and flung his arm over my shoulder. The weight on my shoulders was crushing as he pulled me closer to his side. He reeked of alcohol and his skin felt sweaty under my fingers,

"Hey there gorgeous." The mans speech was slurred and his voice was grating, "How's abou' you and I get… get ta know one another."

"No thanks." I ducked out of the man's grasped and pushed myself further away from him. He grabbed hold of my wrist and yanked me closer so I was sitting on his lap. I tried to get up but he held me firmly around the waist,

"Aw come on sweethear'… I jus wanna talk." I scrunched up my nose,

"Well I don't. Now le' me go." Instead of letting me go his hand wander up to my face,

"Why ya wearin' sunglasses inside? It's dark out… I wanna see your eyes, prolly jus as… jus as pretty as you are." I felt him reach for the glasses and smacked his hand viscously,

"What I choose ta wear is none of your concern, now **let me go**."

"Oi!" I was quickly yanked out of the man's grasp and pushed into someone else's grasp who gently moved me aside, "Keep ya hands of her."

"Aye, the lass doesn't want ya to be pawin her so leave her alone."

"Aw we was jus havin' some fun." I scoffed,

"Like hell we were."

"Now ya see, the lass doesn't want ya."

"Ya best be leavin' an' keep your hands ta yourself 'fore we break it." The man grumbled some curses but one thing he said was very clear,

"Stupid slut." After that the sound of a fist cracking bone was heard followed by more curses,

"Now tha' wasn't very nice was it. Ya shoulda just left when ya hand the chance."

"Aye, ya didn't need to go insultin' the poor lass."

"Now, are ya gonna apologize and walk outta 'ere or are we gonna break ya jaw next and throw ya out." The man grumbled drunken obscenities but the sound of the door slamming was enough to tell me that he had left. "Are ya alright lass?" Before I could say anything I was quickly pulled into Maggie's embrace,

"Oh are ya alright Chris?"

"I'm fine Maggie."

"Thank you boys so much."

"Ah it was notin' Maggie."

"Aye, we couldn't leave the poor lass to fend him off by herself."

"Boys, this is Christian Doyle. Chris, this is Murphy and Connor MacManus." Each boy took my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles,

"Pleasure to meet ya lass." I nodded my head, feeling quite shy at the moment.

"Boys, can ya stay with Chris for the rest of the nigh' for me. At least until I get off my shift?"

"Maggie-"

"O' course we can!"

"Aye, be no trouble at all." She laughed,

"Thanks boys, I'll grab ya beer. On the house." Maggie squeezed my hand before whispering in my ear, "They're good lads. They'll watch out for ya." I nodded again,

"Okay Maggie, I trust ya." She kissed my temple,

"Good girl." She led me back to the table and helped me slid back into the booth. One of the boys slid in next to me and the other across. The man across from me spoke first,

"So Christian,"

"Please, call me Chris or Doyle."

"Chris then. What are ya doin' here at McGinty's?"

"Aye," The one from beside me spoke up, "never seen ya 'round 'ere 'fore." I chuckled,

"My apartment's bein' fumigated so I'm stayin' with Maggie for a few weeks." They both made noises of acknowledgement before a thought crossed my mind. I let my hand slowly wander the table, trying to be inconspicuous as I looked for my Walkman but found nothing. Silently I cursed myself, "Hate to have to ask this but do you boys see my Walkman anywhere?"

"Aye, here it is." There was a slight scraping sound from the far corner of the table before the one beside me gently took my hand and placed it in my palm. I swallowed and felt a blush creep up my cheeks,

"Thanks."

"No problem." I waited with baited breath for the onslaught of questions. The ones that always made me feel insignificant and made people treat me like a child. It was the one across from me who spoke first,

"So where ya from lass?" I let out a small breath and relief flooded me,

"Well, I was born 'ere in Boston. My parent's both came over from Ireland 'bout five years 'fore I was born, it's why my accent isn't so heavy. What 'bout you boys?"

"Same, we were born 'ere but our ma took us back ta Ireland when was three."

"Came back 'bout ten years ago."

"Been 'ere ever since." As the night went on so did the conversation. I learned a lot about the boys and in turn I told them a bit about me. Never once did we broach the topic about me not finding my Walkman or why I was wearing sunglasses inside. It was a nice change, and they made me feel quite comfortable. In fact, they made me feel safe enough to ask them something that had been bugging me all night long,

"Um boys?"

"Yes lass?" I bit my lip a little and felt a slight blush creep up the back of my neck, "I know your names but… not really sure which of you the name belongs to." I could feel my cheeks burning but I wanted to know. They had been so nice and hadn't treated me any differently so far so I took a leap of faith. The one beside me covered my hand and squeezed it lightly,

"I'm Murphy, and that clod across from ya is Connor."

"Eh! I'm not da clod you are!" And just like that the two were back at it, bickering and swearing at one another like only brothers can do. A smile spread across my face, they just dismissed the situation entirely. I knew then that these boys were something special. That I could trust them. So without a second thought I took my sunglasses off and sat them on the table next to my Walkman. The conversation went on and the boys told me story after story of all the mischief they've caused. I had never laughed so much in so long that the sound was almost foreign to my ears. I think at this point I could honestly call the MacManus brothers my friends and the thought made me smile. I didn't have many friends, though not for lack of trying. Many just didn't know how to be friends with someone like me and I didn't want to be pandered.

As the night went on the patrons slowly began to dissipate until it was just a handful of men that I assumed were the regulars. It was late and my eyes were growing heavy. I was tired, but I didn't want my conversation with the brothers to end. Connor excused himself to go to the bathroom leaving me alone with Murphy. Murphy's arm dropped heavily over my shoulder, pulling me closer to him,

"Ya can close your eyes if ya like lass." I sighed and sleepily mumbled,

"I'm okay." He chuckled,

"No ya not. Ya barely awake." I let out a small laugh before snuggling closer into his chest, letting the warmth of his body spread through me,

"Okay, maybe I am a bit tired." He said something to me in what I thought was Gaelic but I couldn't be sure before everything started to fade around me. All I was aware of was the warmth that surrounded me, the sound of Murphy's heart beating, and the thought of finally having two friends who didn't care that I was blind lull me to a peaceful slumber. Maybe, just maybe, things were finally starting to go my way.


	2. At first glance

It had been another boring day for the brothers and a night at McGinty's was just what they needed to put some lively spirit into their day. When they arrived they were greeted with cheers from other regulars and patrons of the pub. Murphy took a deep breath as he slid onto the bar stool next to his brother. The air was thick with smoke and the smell of beer filled his nostrils. The light was dimmed enough not to cause harm to those were smashed beyond their wits while the Dubliners played in the background. All in all it looked like it was going to be a typical night. That is it **was **going to be a typical night until his eyes landed on a young woman he had never seen before sitting in a corner booth closest to the bar. She had long brown hair that fell in a cascade of curls down her back and ivory skin. Her lips were full and were a soft shade of red. She wasn't a skinny girl but she wasn't a big girl either. She was healthy looking, looked like she had meat on her bones unlike most women he saw now of days. Overall she had a very simple, yet attractive, look to her. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous but she wasn't bad looking either. Actually, he found her to be quite pretty. He thought simplicity was beauty when it came to women and this girl truly defined that. She didn't have her faced coated in makeup or her nails painted, her clothes weren't high end or slutty looking, and her hair looked as if she just put some product in it and ran a brush through it. But with all that being said what really caught his attention was the fact that she was wearing sunglasses inside and that she had headphones in her ears.

He didn't have long to ponder the thought though as his brother slapped him on the back with a laugh. Murphy quickly rejoined the conversation and laughter. As curious as he was it wasn't any of his business. It was 6:30 and there was still some light outside, perhaps it just hurt her eyes. He shook his head, it wasn't his business. For the remainder of the night Murphy kept a close eye on the young woman sitting alone in the corner. He quickly discovered that Maggie, one of the serving girls, had brought her. Well that explained why he had never seen her before, but there were still questions that were left unanswered. It was going on 9:45 and she was still wearing her sunglasses. He had kept telling himself that it wasn't any of his business until a man sat down across from her. He watched as she took the headphones off and conversed with him. It was clear the man was trying to buy her a drink but she just smiled and shook her head and after ten minutes of trying he got up and left. He relaxed again until an hour or so later another one tried to talk to her. This time though the man plopped down hard in the seat across from her and set a beer down in front of her. She jumped a moment after he sat down which made Murphy tense up again. This guy came prepared and offered her the beer in front of her but she declined and kept her hands in her lap. After a few minutes the guy shrugged and got up and left. He watched as she carefully felt around the table, her hand skirted around the bottle before her fingers came in contact with the bottle. She felt up the bottle and when she was sure she had a good grip carefully slid it across the table away from her. It was in that moment that Murphy knew why she was wearing sunglasses inside, why she had jumped when the man so unexpectedly sat down. She was blind. It was then that Murphy made it his business to keep a closer eye on her throughout the night.

Connor noticed he didn't have his brother's full attention tonight and wondered what was up. He observed his brother for a bit and noticed his eyes kept darting over to a booth near the end of the bar where a young woman in sunglasses was sitting. He frowned a bit, wondering what it was about the woman that held his brothers attention so. He nudged him in the ribs causing him to look at him,

"Oi, what ya starin' at da lass for? Ya fancy 'er or somethin'?" Murphy shook his head,

"Jus' keepin' an eye out for 'er." This caused Connor to furrow his brow,

"What da bloody hell for? She a grown woman ain't she? Don't need no stalker like ya to be watchin' her." He glared at Connor,

""at's not what I'm sayin'."

"Well what are ya sayin' then?" Murphy rolled his eyes at him,

"Been a few fellas come 'round to talk to 'er. Jus' makin' sure they don't try nothin'."

"Murph, ya still not makin' any sense." Murphy sighed, exasperated that he had to draw it out for him,

"She's blind ya git. Can't see a t'ing. Jus' makin' sure she's alrigh'." Connor took another look at the woman and watched as she sat at the table listening to her Walkman and effectively ignoring the rest of the world. She didn't look at anyone, not that you could tell with the sunglasses, or react to any of the drunken patrons that would stumble past her. She didn't even spare them a glance. It all made sense to Connor now, why she was wearing the sunglasses and why his brother had taken up his post of watching over her.

"Well I'll be…"

"Doc said she's a friend of Maggie. Brought 'er 'ere till the end of 'er shift. Been stoppin' by every now and again ta check on 'er." Connor nodded his head. Neither one of the brothers liked to see a woman be defenseless but this poor lass drew the short end of the stick. A young blind woman in the South end of Boston, the whole situation screamed bad news.

"Any trouble so far?" He shook his head,

"Not really. Few fellas tried to buy 'er a drink an' talk to 'er but she turned 'em all down." The two brothers watched her as she continued to listen with great interest to whatever was playing on her Walkman when a large man sat down next to her. He was a chubby guy who clearly had had far too much to drink. Murphy watched as he threw his arm around her and pulled her close. Murphy gripped the bar tightly as Connor narrowed his eyes at the man. They'd wait and see if he left in peace like all the others but we're ready to spring into action should he try anything ungentlemanly. It wasn't until he pulled her into his lap and tried to take her glasses off that Murphy leapt into action, quickly making his way over to them with Connor right on his heels. When they were closer he could hear her raise her voice at him,

"What I choose ta wear is none of your concern, now **let me go**." Murphy pulled her off of the man's lap,

"Oi!" He pushed her behind him and into his brother's hands, "Keep ya hand off her." Connor moved her to the side of him so he could keep her in his sights,

"Aye, the lass doesn't want ya to be pawin her so leave her alone." The man groaned,

"Aw we was jus havin' some fun." She scoffed,

"Like hell we were." Connor smirked to himself before turning back to the man in front of him,

"Now ya see, the lass doesn't want ya." Murphy clenched his fists tightly as he glared at the drunkard in front of him,

"Ya best be leavin' an' keep your hands ta yourself 'fore we break it." The man scowled at them and grumbled as stood on his wobbly feet, muttering to himself indignantly. He mostly cursed the two Irish brothers, something that both brothers could live with, but when he called her a stupid slut Murphy lost his temper. He didn't even think and merely reacted letting his fist fly and connect with the man's nose. He fell back onto the table clutching his nose and cursing. Blood began to flow freely giving Murphy some satisfaction in the fact that he had caused this man pain, "Now tha' wasn't very nice was it. Ya shoulda just left when ya hand the chance."

Connor shook his head with a smirk, "Aye, ya didn't need to go insultin' the poor lass." He knew his brother had a temper but he also knew that this man deserved the punch and if Murph hadn't done it then he gladly would have.

"Now, are ya gonna apologize and walk outta 'ere or are we gonna break ya jaw next and throw ya out." The man glared at the brothers before muttering more curses and stumbled for the door. Granted he didn't get the apology but he still left which was a reward in and of itself. Murphy finally turned to look at the woman up close, "Are ya alright lass?" Before she said anything though Maggie had dashed over and pulled the young woman into a hug,

"Oh are ya alright Chris?" The girl smiled a bit,

"I'm fine Maggie." After the two pulled away Maggie gave the twins grateful looks,

"Thank you boys so much." Murphy smiled a little,

"Ah it was notin' Maggie."

"Aye, we couldn't leave the poor lass to fend him off by herself." Maggie smiled at the two before introducing them,

"Boys, this is Christian Doyle. Chris, this is Murphy and Connor MacManus." Murphy and Connor each took her hand and kissed her knuckles,

"Pleasure to meet ya lass." A slight blush crossed her face and she nodded bashfully. Maggie grinned,

"Boys, can ya stay with Chris for the rest of the nigh' for me. At least until I get off my shift?" Christian's eyebrows rose as she tried to protest,

"Maggie-" Murphy quickly cut her off,

"O' course we can!"

"Aye, be no trouble at all." Maggie laughed,

"Thanks boys, I'll grab ya beer. On the house." The boys made their way back to the table while Maggie quietly spoke with Chris before she led her back to the table and helped her slide back into the booth. Murphy sat down next to her while Connor sat across from,

"So Christian,"

"Please, call me Chris or Doyle."

"Chris then. What are ya doin' here at McGinty's?"

"Aye, never seen ya 'round 'ere 'fore."

"My apartment's bein' fumigated so I'm stayin' with Maggie for a few weeks." So that was why she here. The boys watched as she let her hand wander the space in front of her, making it look as if she were drawing imaginary shapes on the table. A slight frown crossed her face, "Hate to have to ask this but do you boys see my Walkman anywhere?"

"Aye, here it is." Murphy reached across from him and grabbed the Walkman that was sitting near Connor's elbow before taking hold of her hand and placing it in her palm,

"Thanks."

"No problem." She held her breath with a look of anticipation. Clearly she was waiting for one of them to ask her about her sightlessness. The two brothers shared a look before Connor spoke up,

"So where ya from lass?" The tenseness in her shoulders melted away and a relieved look crossed her features. They continued to carry on a conversation about where they were from and where they worked. Murphy soaked in every little detail, wanting to remember everything. She was an intriguing woman and he wanted to know more about her. He learned that she worked at a school and that she had met Maggie in school and had been friends since. In turn they told her about their job at the meat packing plant and their home back in Ireland. It wasn't until a bit later that she asked them which brother was which. By the look on her face it must have been bothering her for a while and by the red blush that covered her cheeks she was thoroughly embarrassed for having to ask. Murphy covered her hand with a smile,

"I'm Murphy, and that clod across from ya is Connor." The indignant look on his brother's face was pricelss,

"Eh! I'm not da clod you are!" And just like that the two were squabbling with one another again. Nothing serious of course, it was all rather lighthearted and it made her laugh. He liked to hear her laugh, he got the impression that she didn't laugh often enough and by the look on Maggie's face as she passed by he knew that he was right. When she took her sunglasses off and he finally got to see her eyes he almost lost his breath. Most people who were blind had pale blue eyes, at least that's what he'd heard, but her eyes were brown. At one point they looked to be a deep shade of chocolate but now looked milky and pale but had an ethereal look to them. They were gorgeous. Her simple beauty was only increased by her eyes accented her looks very well.

As the night continued on he learned more about her and what she was like. He discovered that what she was listening to on her Walkman was actually an audiobook of Pride and Prejudice. Apparently she loved books and could play the violin. Murphy and Connor told her stories about their childhood and how much hell they raised back home. She found the story about Murphy snorting whisky out his nose the first time he tried it to be particularly funny. If it hadn't put such a smile on her face he would've clocked his brother then and there. In turn though he told her about when their Ma caught Connor smoking for the first time and she chased him with a switch all the way into town.

It was almost three in the morning when she began to get tired. The boys could see it in her face, the way her eyelids were beginning to drop and the way she leaned to her left with a sleepy smile on her face. Connor shot his brother a smirk and excused himself before heading back towards the bathroom leaving Murphy alone with Chris. He watched her for a moment before draping his arm over her shoulder and pulling her closer.

"Ya can close your eyes if ya like lass." She sighed happily before mumbling,

"I'm okay." He chuckled as he watched her eyelids droop even more,

"No ya not. Ya barely awake." She chuckled before snuggling down against his chest. She was warm and despite himself he couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of holding her close to him. She looked she hadn't had a descent nights sleep in a while,

"Okay, maybe I am a bit tired."

"Codladh go maith cailín _sleep well lass_." Her breathing quickly evened out and before Connor returned she was fast asleep. Murphy watched her sleep with a mix of sadness and wonder. She looked so vulnerable while she slept, she reminded him of a small rabbit shivering in fear and always on the lookout for danger. He noticed the slight dark circles under her eyes, clearly she didn't get enough sleep or perhaps she was afraid to sleep. The thought of he being frightened didn't sit well with him. She was too nice to be afraid, too sweet to have to be scared of anything. In the short amount of time he had known her he felt a strong need to protect her. Not just because she was blind, but because of how innocent she was. She had a pure heart and that was something that wasn't easy to come by in this world.

When Connor returned and found Chris fast asleep against Murphy he smiled. He knew that his brother was attached to the girl. Frankly so was he, she was sweet and gentle. She didn't have any hate in her heart or a single malicious bone in her body. She was kind. Granted they still didn't know a whole lot about her but they knew enough. Connor had no doubt that they would be seeing more of Christian Doyle in the future and that he and his brother would be spending more of their time looking out for her. It would do them both some good to have someone to remind them that there was some good in the world.

Maggie came up next to him and smiled,

"She really likes you guys." Connor glanced at her and noticed she had her coat on,

"Aye, we like 'er too. She's a sweet lass." Maggie nodded,

"Always been that way. Even when we was kids." Connor whistled a bit to get his brothers attention before motioning to the door with his head. The two watched as Murphy carefully slid out of the booth before scooping Chris up in his arms. Maggie collected her Walkman and sunglasses while connor held the door for them as they began to make their way toward Maggie's apartment. Connor offered her his arm which she gladly took seeing how her feet were killing her, "You know, I haven't heard her laugh like that in years. She used to laugh like that all the time. She was the happiest girl around." A sad smile crossed her face, "Been a long time since she smiled like that. Thank you lads." Murphy shook his head,

"Was nothin'."

"Aye, we enjoyed her company."

"I hope you lads plan on bein' around more. She could use people like you in her life." The boys nodded,

"Plan on bein' 'round if she don't mind." They made their way up the front steps of the apartment,

"She won't mind. In fact, I'll bring her 'round tomorrow night again if that's alrigh' with you."

"Sounds fine ta us." Murphy carried her in to the apartment and followed Maggied back to the bedroom where he gently laid her down while Maggie tucked her in. Murphy looked her over one more time before following Maggie back out to the front door,

"Just one last thin' lads."

"Aye?" Maggie crossed her arms and gave them a sad smile,

"Don't bring up her parents. She'll bring them up eventually but not until she's ready." Her words were heavy and caused a sick feeling to swell inside Murphy's stomach. Thankfully Connor spoke up,

"Not a problem Maggie." She gave them both a grateful smile,

"Thank ya boys."

"Have a good night Maggie."

"Night Maggie."

"Goodnight boys." As Connor and Murphy made their way back home neither said a word. Both were going over the nights events in their head and each came up with a different conclusion in the end. Both brothers agreed that she was a sweet and had been hurt badly before and neither wanted to see her face that again. One wanted to protect her and help her learn to stand again while the other wanted to show her that she was worth caring about. That she was important and that she shouldn't let anyone tell her otherwise. And he'd be damned if he let anyone treat her any differently.


	3. Taking a Chance

When Maggie woke me the next morning telling me that I would be going back to the pub with her tonight I couldn't help but grin. It was Saturday meaning that I didn't have work and that Maggie's shift at the bar would start earlier. When I asked her about how I got home last night she told me that Murphy had carried me home causing a fierce blush to spread across my cheeks. She laughed,

"Oh it was really sweet dearie. Ya know, they really liked ya last night. Thought ya had a great personality." I chuckled,

"I liked talkin' to 'em too. They're nice lads."

"Chris, I haven't seen ya smile so big in a long while and I haven't heard ya laugh like that in ages." I smiled at her,

"They make it easy. They didn't focus on me bein' blind. It was… nice. Refreshin' even, even if they were jus' bein' polite." Maggie grabbed my hand and squeezed it as we headed out the door.

"Well, we'll bein' seein' them again tonight. Told 'em you'd be comin' in with me. And hush up, they weren't jus' bein' polite." I laughed,

"I don't get a say in the matter do I?" She chuckled,

"No, ya don't. I've been sayin' you need to meet new people and low and behold ya have and they're actually decent folk. Not lettin' ya run away from 'em this time." I shook my head a bit,

"Alrigh' Maggie, will do it your way. And I wasn't gonna run."

"Mhm, sure. You always do that. Ya start to get to know someone and then ya turn tale and run away." She sighed as she locked the door and took hold of my arm again, "I know why ya do it, and I understand. But… they're different dearie. Ya jus' gotta give 'em a chance."

"I am Maggie."

"No, I mean a **real **chance. I'm not sayin' tell 'em everythin' tonight. Jus' get to know 'em more and then when the time is right, tell 'em. Ya can't keep it all pent up."

"I don't keep it-"

"Yes ya do. Ya don't tell me everythin' and we've been friends since the sixth grade." I sighed,

"It's not that simply Maggie."

"I know, trustin' someone isn't supposed to be simple. But I think that if you jus' open up bit by bit that it'll be good for ya… may even get ya a boyfriend in the end."

"Maggie!" She burst out laughing and I couldn't help but laugh with her. The rest of the morning was spent on lighter topics as we made our round around the park. I asked her to describe the boys to me and she told me that at some point tonight I should ask them to let me run my hands over their faces, get a feel of what each one was like. Of course this led her to comment that if I wanted to feel other places on them as well that that would be just as good.

"Do ya always go straight to the gutter?" I could feel my face burning from her comment as she laughed,

"I blame it on my job. Been workin' around 'em filty lads for so long." I shook my head,

"Speakin' of gettin' a feel for people, you seein' anyone?" She chuckled,

"No, I'm not."

"Fancy anyone then?"

"Possibly."

"Really? Who is it? Anyone I know?"

"Nah, his name's Rocco. Italian, got long hair. Funny guy. He's actually friends with your lads."

"Really? Okay first off, why are they my lads? Haven't even known 'em twenty-four hours an' ya actin' like I own 'em." She snorted,

"Dearie, ya do own 'em. They both think ya sweet and kind. Ya could have 'em eatin' outta ya hand if ya wanted."

"They're just bein' polite, help the blind girl an' all that." I felt Maggie back me up and sit me down on a bench as she sat down next to me,

"Look, yes they wanna help ya. But not jus' cos ya can't see. They ain't gonna coddle ya and treat ya like glass, they're not gonna shun ya an' pretend ya ain't there, but they do like ta help. They're both good judges of character, they know good people when they see 'em." For a moment I let that sink in. I knew I had problems when it came to letting people help me or talk with me. There were numerous times I mistook a man being kind and helping me or having a conversation with me as him actually taking interest in me and wanting to date. Had people walk out on me in the middle of a conversation and I never knew it. Maggie had been begging me to get out, to meet people. I always refused, not wanting to be rejected or led astray again. I shook my head, I said I would give them a chance and I would. I'd just be cautious. I had been through far too much to not be. I cleared my throat,

"Well, enough about this. You haven't told me more about Rocco." She laughed,

"Rocco's a descent fellow. Not like that MacManus brother's though. He's a bit… rougher 'round the edges. A bit short tempered. Doesn't really think 'fore he speaks. Actually he can do some very stupid thin's at times but he's got a good heart." I shook my head,

"You always have had a thing for the fools."

"Oi! They were all descent fellows though."

"Aye, they were all descent men I'll give ya that. But they were all fools as well. Like one of those stories about the princess an' her fool. So does he know ya fancy him?"

"Dunno to be honest. I mean, he always kisses my cheek when he comes in but I dunno if he's ju' bein' friendly or what. I know he's got a girlfriend but they don't really seem to be together. More like it's just a label then actual attachment." I pondered her words for a moment before a smile crossed my lips,

"I think I need to meet this Rocco." She groaned,

"No, ya don't." She stood up and took my hand before pulling me up,

"Aye, I do." We made our way back to her apartment, stopping along the way to get a bagel and coffee. When we arrived back at her apartment she went to take a shower while I practiced my violin. I had a performance coming up with the local symphony in three months and I wanted to be prepared. I knew all the pieces by memory but I still wanted to play with them a bit. I would run through the songs a few times and change pitch, dynamic, and style trying to determine what sounded best. The director was good about letting me decide how to play it. Granted I listed to him when he told me what specific parts had to be played a certain way. What **had **to be staccato, or diminuendo, or fortissimo. It was difficult at first learning to play without being able to read the music but after a while I got the hang of it. One of the other violinists would stay and go over the songs with me. I'd listen to him play and then play after him with him correcting me when I played a wrong note. I was pretty good at being able to play by ear. Some wanted to call me a genius, but I never thought of myself that way. I just adapted, if I hadn't I wouldn't have ever been able to play my violin again. It took a lot of practice and a lot of work. If I were a genius then it would've come naturally.

Carefully I picked up the bow and set my chin against the chinrest. I took a deep breath before I began to play. I played through the four songs a few times before Maggie came out of the shower and wanted to know if I wanted to join her in going to the market. I declined, telling her I wanted to get further into my book and shower myself.

It was almost two hours before Maggie returned and she told me that we'd be leaving a bit early for the pub tonight. I raised an eyebrow at her,

"Is that so? May I ask why?"

"Ran into Gwen on the way back. Her little boy's sick an' she asked if I'd cover for her." I nodded my head,

"Alrigh' sounds fine. What time do the lads usually get there?"

"About six, six-thirty. We'll be goin' in around four though. Help Doc get set up for the nigh'. Patrons start comin' in at five."

"I'll bring my Walkman then." The rest of the day I kept myself busy, trying not to focus on talking with the lads again tonight. I wanted to talk to them more but I was scared as well. Scared that they might leave like all the others do. When the time came for us to head down to the pub I was practically jittery with nervousness and excitement.

Maggie sat me down in the same spot I was in the night before and told me that she'd point the boys in my direction when they got here. An hour later patrons began to fill the bar and when another hour rolled around, true to her word, the boys arrived.

"Evenin' lass." Connor kissed my cheek as I wrapped my headphones around my Walkman,

"Hello Connor." Murphy grabbed my hand and squeezed it before kissing my other cheek,

"How are ya?"

"I'm good. An' you boys? How was work?" Murphy helped me back into the booth and slid in next to me making Connor sit across from me again,

"Eh it was work. Nothin' out of the ordinary really."

"Except our boss said we was gettin' some new people comin' in."

"Oh dat's right. I forgot 'bout that. We had a fellow quite last week an' our boss has been tryin' ta fill it. Got interviews comin' up an' then we gotta deal with trainees." I chuckled at the dread the filled Connor's voice,

"That bad huh?" Murphy chuckled,

"It's the worst. Can take a long time too. Had one time where a spot went open for a whole year an' a half." Connor groaned,

"Had ta pull double shift for a whole year an' half. It was murder." I laughed,

"Well, maybe it won't be so long this time."

"Hope so, means we wouldn't get to come here as much." I frowned a bit.

"So lass, what have ya done today?"

"Well, Maggie and I walked through the park like we always do on Saturday morning, got breakfast, practiced my violin, showered, got further into my book. Maggie made chicken for lunch."

"Any good?" I snorted,

"God no, she's a terrible cook." The boys cracked up,

"Really? She that bad?"

"Murphy, she can't even boil a potato."

"But she's Irish!"

"I know!" Connor laughed,

"She's Irish an' she can't even boil a bloody potato. Jesus…"

"Lord's name!" I laughed,

"It's sad I know. Hey lads can ya help me with somethin'?"

"Sure lass, what do ya need?" I grinned as I leaned in closer,

"Is Maggie near by?" There was a moment of silence as I assumed the boys were looking around for her,

"No, she's over on the other side. Why do ya ask?" I chuckled,

"Now don't tell her this. She'll kill me if she finds out I asked ya this. You boys got a friend named Rocco yeah?"

"Aye, we do."

"What's his relationship status like?"

"What?" Murphy exclaimed next to me,

"Maggie mentioned somethin' 'bout a girl but wasn't sure."

"Ya interested in Rocco lass?" I snorted,

"Not me Connor. Maggie."

"What?" I rolled my eyes,

"Maggie's got a t'ing for your Italian friend."

"Are ya serious?" I nodded.

"Well I'll be… ta answer ya question lass yes Roc does have a lass but it's very on again off again." Murphy snorted,

"She's also strung out all the time. Always got somethin' she's pumpin' into her system."

"Doesn't help that she disappears for weeks on end."

"Does he have any interest in Maggie?"

"Don't know ta be honest. Can ask him next time we see him."

"Would you? That'd be wonderful. But don't tell Maggie. She'd kill me in my sleep if she found out." They chuckled. As the night went on I learned more about the boys and their lives. I quickly discovered that Murphy was the fun loving one and Connor was the more serious of the two. Both were extremely playful and had tempers but if we were honest Murphy had the shorter temper between the two. Connor had a love for movies that almost bordered on the unhealthy side. If he could plan his life out to be like an action movie with explosions and saving pretty girls all day he'd be the happiest man alive. Murphy liked to read and preferred to draw or sketch in his spare time. I learned that he had designed the tattoos they had and once again I found myself desperately wishing I could see. Murphy was actually more reserved and sensitive of the two despite his quick temper. It wasn't so much in the words he said that told me this but rather it was the way he said things. Like when his tone was soft and he spoke with a sweet voice when he talked about their Ma. Connor was more of a straightforward kind of man. He wasn't insensitive but he focused more on the task than on people's feelings. They were two halves of a whole. They were both so clearly different and yet so similar.

The boys and I had talked a lot so far and I felt like I knew them better now. At least, enough to ask them if I could finally "see" what they looked like,

"Hey lads?"

"Yes lass?" I bit my lip and drummed my fingers nervously on the table,

"Would ya mind… would it be alrigh' if I… um," I felt my face flush at my stuttering, "ya see, since I can't actually see I- uh, I use my fingers to feel for me an' I was wonderin' if it would be alright if I felt your faces… ya know so I could finally get a look at ya as it were." My face was burning now that I had thoroughly embarrassed myself. Gently, Murphy took hold of my hand and lifted it to his face, pressing the palm of my hand into his cheek,

"It's no problem lass." Lightly, I cupped his face with my other hand and held his chin still as I traced my fingers over his cheek before sweeping them over his nose and onto his other cheek. I ran my fingers through his hair and down to the base of his neck before bringing them back to his cheek. I ran my fingers up around his eyes and across his forehead before I trailed a path down the bridged of his nose and across his lips. I felt his warm breath spread across my fingers as I ran my fingers across his lips before circling his mouth and down his chin. He had strong cheekbones, warm skin, soft hair and even softer lips. He had two small moles near the left side of his mouth and to be honest I found them to be rather adorable. His hair was soft seemed to end near the nape of his neck. It wasn't long but it wasn't short either. I smiled,

"You're quite the handsome man MacManus." He chuckled,

"An' you're quite lovely yourself." My cheeks warmed as I shook my head,

"Alrigh', enough bein' all sweet. It's my turn." I laughed as Connor pulled his brother from my side and sat down in his place. I cupped his cheek and ran my fingers across his face much in the same way I had his brothers. I quickly began to notice the difference in the brothers. While they had the same cheekbones and noses, Connor's hair was shorter than Murphy's and had a different feel to it. It wasn't coarse but it wasn't soft either, more of like a mixture of the two. Murphy had a rounder jaw and longer face while Connor had more of a pointed chin and slightly chubby cheeks. I chuckled,

"Well, ya ma must've been chasin' off ladies left and righ' with two handsome lads like you." Connor chuckled,

"Aye, she chase 'em off an' we chase after them." I laughed and shook my head,

"You two seem to be very good with ladies." There was a slight scuffle beside me before I felt Connor's presences vanish beside me and was quickly replaced with Murphy's familiar warmth,

"More jus' talk and drink really."

"Nothin' too bad, really."

"Our ma raised us righ', taught us how ta treat women with respect an' dignity."

"Sounds like your ma did a good job. But ya can't tell me neither one of ya have ever slept with a women before? Two good lookin' fellas like yourselves can have anyone ya want and ya don't act on it? Don't tell me ya haven't kissed a girl." Murphy cleared his throat a bit and shifted next to me,

"Well, it's not like we **haven't **kissed girls."

"Aye, an' it's not like we haven't taken home girls before. Jus' usually not on the first date."

"Do you two date often then?" Connor was the one who spoke up first,

"No, not really. Made out with plenty of girls but only slept with a few. Our ma would kill us if we went sleepin' around."

"She'd castrate us." I laughed,

"Well, I'm glad ya two don't sleep around." Murphy shifted his body towards me,

"Really? An' why's that?" I felt a blush creep up the back of my neck and laughed a bit,

"Cos I've never had man whores as friends before." Murphy busted out laughing and slapped the table a few times as Connor choked on his drink and spluttered out,

"Man whores?! Jesus, lass is that what ya think of us?" I laughed,

"Lord's name! And no, that's what I'd think of ya **if** ya slept around a lot. Which ya said ya don't." Murphy's laughter began to die down as he draped his arm over my shoulder,

"Well, glad to know we're approved as your friends then." I smiled,

"Yes you are." Connor chuckled,

"Well, I believe this is da start of a grand new friendship wouldn't ya agree." I shook my head,

"I believe it is. You Murphy?" He squeezed my shoulder,

"Aye lass, it is." And with that had officially made two new friends. Two people who I could talk to and not be judged and just be myself. Who could help me forget for just a bit that I was different from other people. Who knows, maybe Maggie was right. Maybe some day I could open up to them and tell them everything. But that was the future, and right now I was focused on the present. And presently I had two handsome friends who gave me something I hadn't had in a long time. Hope. Hope that one day things can change, that one day I won't feel so alone in the world. Hope, is a powerful thing and shouldn't be taken lightly. Because hope brings faith and faith gives you something to stand for and believe in. Faith, makes you strong.


	4. Thoughts of the pale brown eyed girl

It had been three weeks since that night at the pub and Murphy still couldn't stop thinking about the way she had ran her fingers over his face. He couldn't help but stare as her as her soft fingers traced over his face. She had taken her time, making sure to cover every inch of his face. When her fingers had brushed over his lips he had had to resist the urge to kiss them. She was so gentle, so sweet and innocent. Her touch had been soothing and warm, and he hadn't realized that a simple touch could make him feel so at ease and worry free.

Over the course of those three weeks she and the brothers had grown closer and slowly she was lowering her defenses. The brothers learned more about her and in turn they told her more about them. She had even invited them back to her place once she was able to move back in and they got to hear her play the violin for the first time. Murphy could only describe it as incredible, and even then he thought the word didn't do her justice. Connor thought it was amazing and that she was truly talented at it but Murphy knew better. He could **see **the passion in her movements. He could see the grace and beauty flow throughout her movements. He knew that when she closed her eyes and began to sway with the movements that she was in another world all her own. That the music carried her off somewhere far far away. This was more than just music, this was an art form and one that was so deep and personal that he was honored she chose to share a piece of it with them. He hoped that one day he would get to see her world, that she might let him in and let him be a part of it. His goal had become getting to know her just a little bit at a time. To slowly chip away at those defenses she had put up and get to know the real her.

He knew there was more to her than what he was seeing. While she may not have been able to see, her eyes still reflected her emotions. The eyes were the windows to the soul after all, and hers were so shrouded that it was often hard to see in. But, there were moments where, if you looked hard enough, you could see what she was feeling. He didn't like what he found. Pain and anguish were heavy in her eyes. He didn't know what caused her such pain but he knew he wanted to make it stop. To make the pain go away and to just see her eyes light up with a laugh or a smile.

He and Connor figured that it had to do with her parents but that there was more to it than that. Murphy was reminded of when she first met Rocco a few days ago, she got that same look in her eye that Liam got, a boy who was made of fun in their primary days because he had a purple birthmark on his neck.

"_Rocco, this is Christian Doyle. Chris, this is Rocco." Chris stuck her hand out, waiting, before he finally grabbed it and shook it,_

"_Oh so __**you're**__ the chick who can't see nothin' that these two micks have been tellin' me about." Murphy watched as a painful look flashed across her face for a brief second before she slipped back into her smile,_

"_Aye that'd be me." One after the other Connor and Murphy slapped Rocco upside the back of his head,_

"_The hell's wrong with ya?"_

"_Ya insensitive ass, we told ya to behave." Rocco threw his hands up,_

"_Ow! Sorry! I wasn't thinkin' it just came out. I didn't mean nothin' by it. Honest." Chris waved it off,_

"_It's alright, don't worry about it. I've heard worse." Murphy's heart clenched painfully at her words. How could anyone be cruel to such a sweet girl?_

Murphy's fists clenched tightly as he stared up at the ceiling. Chris had forgiven Rocco right on the spot and even had a few laughs with him. Murphy still wanted to punch Rocco for bringing it up even though they told him to not to make a big deal about it. There was still so much he didn't know about her but he wanted to. He wanted to help her, she didn't say it so much in words but he could see it in her actions that she thought very little of herself. He had met people like that before and he didn't like how they ended up. He couldn't watch her end up like that; he couldn't watch her end up sad, broken, and bitter. He had made up his mind that he was going to show her just how amazing she truly was. He was going to make her believe in herself and show her that she's worth more than she thinks. With his plan finally thought out he began to drift off with thoughts of a pale brown eyed girl filling his dreams.

The next day was hard to get through. Murphy was tired and all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and sleep the day away. But his brother was having none of that. He had woken Murphy by dumping a glass of water on his head. Of course this ended with the two duking it out on the floor before they finally got their act together and headed to work. He had spent the day filling boxes with slabs of meat and taking the boxes to the loading dock. His back hurt and his arms were sore. Connor had gotten lucky and managed to cut meat all day. Connor slapped his back hard causing him to groan,

"Cheer up Murph, at least ya'll get ta see the lass tonigh'." A small smile crossed Murphy's face,

"Aye, 's only good t'ing 'bout today." When the brothers walked in to the bar he found that she wasn't in her booth. He furrowed his brow as he scanned the faces in the bar. She wasn't there. His heart skipped a beat as he thought of all the worse case scenarios. "She's not 'ere." Connor squeezed his shoulder,

"Settle down now. Look, there's Maggie. Can ask her where da lass is." The boys crossed the bar and took her aside, "Hey Maggie, where's Chris at?"

"Oh she isn't comin' tonight lads. She got behind on 'er gradin' so she's stayin' in tonight. She wanted me to tell ya she was sorry for not makin' it tonight." Murphy let out a sigh of relief. He was thankful nothing happened to her but he was disappointed she wasn't there. He was really looking forward to seeing her,

"See, I told ya not to worry Murph."

"You were worried?" Maggie grinned as Murphy punched his brother in the arm to try and cover the faint blush that crossed his cheeks,

"You ass! I was jus' concerned is all." She shook her head with a laugh,

"Well, I'm sure she wouldn't mind company if ya wanted to go over and check on her." Murphy's smile picked up a bit at the thought, "Should take some food with ya. I know the stubborn woman hasn't eaten since lunch. She gets into her work an' forgets to eat." Murphy nodded,

"Think I'll do that." Connor laughed before shoving him toward the door,

"Go on prince charmin', don't keep the lass waitin'." Murphy glared at his brother and flipped him off,

"Thanks Maggie!" Connor watched as his brother jogged out the door with a smile. He shook his head before looking at Maggie to find a similar smile on her face,

"Think me brother's got a bit of a crush on the lass." She laughed,

"Well he better keep at it then. Chris needs a good fella in her life an' Murph would be good for her. She likes him that's fo' sure. She think's he's sweet." She poured him a shot before pouring another for herself. Connor raised his glass,

"To Murph and Chris." She lifted her glass with a laugh,

"To Murph and Chris."

Murphy hopped up the four steps to her porch and rapped on the door. In his left arm he held a bag of subs and chips and in the other he had a small box with three beers and three cans of Dr. Pepper. The girl had an addiction to them and drank them as much as he drank beer. He heard shuffle to the door and opened the mail slot,

"Who is it?"

"It's Murphy lass." Quickly she unlocked the door and opened it,

"Murphy? What are you doin' 'ere?"

"Maggie said ya were stayin' in tonight and gradin'. Said ya probably forgot to eat so I thought I'd come over an' see if I could help, brought food too." She smiled widely at him,

"That's sweet Murphy, come in." She held the door open wider as he entered. He stopped briefly to lean over and kiss her on the cheek before he continued on to the kitchen,

"I brought subs and chips, hope that's alright." As she closed the door she tried to get the blush that had covered her face to go away,

"That sounds wonderful Murphy. What kind did you get?"

"Well, I got a meatball one for me and a chicken one with cheese, peppers, and ranch for you." She grinned,

"You remembered." He smiled as she entered the kitchen,

"Of course I did. No lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise… ya like nothin' good." She stuck her tongue out at him with a laugh,

"That stuff ruins the sandwich. Makes it all soggy." He shook his head with a laugh as he continued to pull out the food,

"Whatever ya say lass, I got plain chips for da both of us. And, I got somethin' else for ya."

"Oh, and what's that then?" He grinned as he grasped her hand before pressing a can of pop into it. Her eyes lit up and her smiled widened,

"Is this Dr. Pepper?"

"Course it is! How could I forget, ya drink that like it's crack."

"Have I told ya how wonderful ya are?" He laughed,

"Yes, but I wouldn't mind hearin' it again." She chuckled,

"You're wonderful Murphy. Really, thank ya for this." He smiled as he lead her to the table,

"'s no problem lass." The two dug in quickly to their food as Murphy asked how her day was. She told him about her classes and which kids were progressing and which were not. When she asked him about his day he groaned,

"Bloody awful."

"What happened?" Murphy recounted his day for her as they cleared the table off and took their drinks and headed for the living room. Papers were spread out across the floor and the coffee table was pushed back.

"My back is killin' me an' my shoulders an' arms are sore." She reached her hand out to him causing him to take hold of it. She lead him over to the couch where she sat down,

"Here, sit down on the floor in fron' of me." He gave her a curious look,

"Why?" She rolled her eyes,

"Jus' do it." He did as she asked and sat down in front of her, resting his arms on his knees. He quickly realized what she was doing as he felt her thumbs dig into his shoulder blades. He groaned as she began to work out the knots in his shoulders. She rolled her thumbs over his shoulders before moving in towards his back where she made a fist and used her knuckles to work out the knots there. He leaned his head back against her legs with a sigh and closed his eyes.

"I'm not hurtin' ya am I?" He groaned,

"No lass, ya not hurtin' me. This feels great." She smiled as she continued her work. Ten minutes later and he was ready to fall asleep. Her hands worked wonders on his back as the tension left his body. She patted his back, letting him know she was done,

"How's that feel?" He didn't move his head from her knees as he opened his eyes,

"That was wonderful lass." She smiled down at him as she tentatively reached out to touch his face. She missed at first and grazed his right ear which caused her to move her hand closer before running her fingers down to cup his cheek,

"Glad I could help." He took hold of her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles in a lingering kiss, never once taking his eyes off of her,

"Thanks Chris." He watched a blush made its way onto her cheeks,

"You're welcome. Now, would ya care to help me grade some papers?" He sat up and scooted over, letting her slide down onto the floor next to him,

"I'd love to lass." Her grading scale was a simple one and relatively easy to comprehend considering the children she worked with were all special needs. As he helped her grade he couldn't help but glance at her throughout the night. They chatted on about books, art, and music and in no time they were done. After little thought they decided to put on some classical music and move back to the couch where they could continue talking. As the night wore on the more tired they both had become prompting Chris to invite him to spend the night. He had readily accepted, too tired and content to leave. They continued talking but it wasn't long before she fell fast asleep against the arm of the couch. Gently, Murphy lifted her up and carried her into her room where he tucked her in.

For a moment, he simply stared at her. He felt a slight tug on his heart at the sight of her. He had been with women before but none had made him feel what he was feeling now. He had admitted to himself that she was attractive when he first met her but there was more to it now. There was more that attracted him than just her looks. He was attracted to her personality as well, her wit and humor. The fact that she didn't back down from him or his brother and she held her own against them. Her tender spirit and kind heart. Her passion in her work and music. To him, her smile was contagious and her laugh addicting. Her touch was a drug that he couldn't get enough of. He hadn't realized how much he craved her touch until she and Maggie went out of town one weekend to visit Maggie's aunt. He had never felt so cold before than that weekend. He knew he fancied her, if he was being completely honest with himself he more than fancied her but he wasn't willing to let his mind go any further than that.

Perhaps one day he could ask her out but there was still far too much ground to cover before he could do that. There was still much that he didn't know and he was going to have to keep working for her to reveal anything to him. He needed her to trust him completely before he even considered the possibility of asking her out. For now though, he would be content with what he had. Softly, he brushed a loose curl out of her face before leaning down and kissing her head and whispering,

"Faites de beaux rêves, mon chéri, _sweet dreams, darling_." Quietly, Murphy crept out of her room before grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and settling in for the night. He pulled his shirt off before dropping it next to the couch and lying back down. Sleep came easily to him that night, knowing that the pale eyed girl he had become so affectionate of was just in the other room.


	5. Moving forward

Monday morning had come far too early for my liking. Mondays were terrible days, always having to get up early after sleeping in all weekend and dragging myself to work. Thankfully I never really had to deal with the rude and annoying children. Seeing how all of my students were special needs and circumstances they were all relatively sweet and well behaved. Granted we did have the occasional episode or emotional outburst but that was to be expected. Quickly I showered and got dressed for work before leaving my room. I froze though when I heard light snoring coming from my living room. I relaxed though when I remembered that Murphy had spent the night. Quietly I made my way into the living room. Silently I crept past his sleeping form and into the kitchen. Thinking about what all I had in my cupboards I decided to make pancakes for breakfast. Pulling out all of the necessary ingredients and a pan I got to work. About ten minutes into making breakfast I heard the distinct sound of footsteps making their way from the living room to the kitchen.

"Good morning."

"Mmm, mornin' lass." His voice was heavy with sleep and I couldn't help but smile,

"Hope ya like pancakes."

"What?" I chuckled,

"I made breakfast Murphy. Boy, ya really aren't much of a mornin' person are ya?"

"Uh, no I'm not. Um, do ya need any help there lass? I may not be the best cook but I do know me way aroun' a kitchen." I could hear the concern in his voice and knew what he was worried about,

"Relax Murph, I've been cookin' blind for almost ten years now. My days of burnin' myself and the food are over." He spluttered for a response causing me to laugh, "It's alright Murphy. Ya didn't do nothin' wrong. It's natural for someone to be concerned for their safety when a blind person's workin' around an open flame." I shut the stove off and began to plate the pancakes before sprinkling powdered sugar on top,

"'s not what I was worried 'bout love. I'm worried abou' ya burnin' your hand or accidently catchin' your hair on fire." I laughed, letting my hair fall over my face to cover the blush that was covering my cheeks at being called love,

"Well, thanks for your concern Murphy but I promise I'll be fine." He crossed the distance and gently took the plates from my hands,

"I know… jus' worry 'bout ya is all." His voice was soft and sincere, and if I wasn't blushing before I certainly was now. I was touched by his concern though, most people worry about if I'm going to burn down the house, catch them on fire, or burn their food. But Murphy… he was worried about me. I had noticed over the past few weeks how he and his brother didn't treat me like a china doll or walk on eggshells around me, but Murphy had been more concerned for my well being and even my mental state. He often asked me what was on my mind and asked about how I was feeling and if I slept well. It was sweet actually; I hadn't had anyone care so much about me since Maggie came into my life. **He** was sweet.

"Thank you… and not just for bein' concerned about whether or not I migh' burn myself. But for everythin'. For jus' carin' about what happens to me." For a moment there was silence and I wondered if I had made things awkward but those thoughts were banished when I felt his soft lips press against my forehead,

"You're worth carin' 'bout Chris." I could practically feel my face burning as he padded over to the table where he sat the plates down. I quickly shook my head and tried to cool my face off as I headed towards the fridge where I pulled out the syrup and milk,

"I hope ya don't mind but I put chocolate chips in the pancakes. It's the only way I'll eat 'em."

"Of course that's fine, everythin' tastes better when ya add chocolate to it." I smiled as I sat the items on the table before sitting down across from Murphy. After putting drowning my pancakes in syrup I dug in. They were warm and gooey, just the way I liked them, "Mmm, lass… these are bloody delicious." I couldn't help but giggle as he continued to shovel more pancakes into his mouth, "Lord these are better than ma's."

"Lord's name!" I laughed, "And I'm glad ya like 'em. I learned to make them from scratch from granddad."

"He the one that taught ya to cook?" I nodded,

"Mhm, he started teachin' me when I was thirteen. He started simple though with easy to cook things. He always cooked with me until I was fifteen and by then I had it down to where I didn't need his help any more. I burnt a good many meals though in those two years prior." He chuckled,

"Well, you're pancakes are amazin' and I can only assume that the rest of your cookin' is jus' as good."

"Maybe sometime this week you and Connor can come over for dinner. I can make a pretty good stew. Only if ya wanted to though, ya don't have to."

"We'd love to lass, but I gotta warn ya. Once me brother tries your cookin' ya might not be able to get rid of him." I laughed,

"Well, you boys are always welcome over any time ya like. I like to cook actually, it's fun to me. Makes me feel like I really accomplished somethin' too. I may not be grand at it but I'm not bad either." He chuckled,

"What day ya want ys ta come over?"

"How's Thursday sound?"

"Sound wonderful. Connor will be happy to get a real home cooked meal in his stomach." I grinned,

"Ya make it sound like ya starve on a daily basis." He laughed,

"Hey, we are starved. All we eat is whatever I can throw together or else we go out to some greasy place."

"I'm sure you're not that bad."

"I can't do anything that involves bakin'. I'm absolute rubbish at it. Tried to make a pie for Thanksgivin' and I burnt it to a crisp."

"I can't do anything with fish. I'm rubbish when it comes to fish." We continued going on about what we could make and what we couldn't while we cleaned up the table. Once everything was put away Murphy offered to walk me to work, "Ya don't have to Murphy. I know you're tired and that you don't go in to the factory for another six hours. Go home, get some more sleep."

"No, I insist. I promise I'll go home an' sleep after I walk ya there." I sighed,

"You won't take no for answer will ya?"

"Nope." I could practically hear the smile in his voice,

"Well, if ya must." Deep down I was actually really happy he was walking me to work. I enjoyed spending time with Murphy and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him just yet. Like the gentleman he was, he offered me his arm which I gladly took before heading down the street. The school wasn't far, only about four blocks away, but it was far enough for us to get through several embarrassing stories about Connor. Something I was sure he would make Murphy pay for later,

"Connor couldn't hide the paint smudges on the carpet an' our ma caught him tryin' to scrub it out. I never seen her so furious before. She looked like she was ready to wring he neck. He got a serious whippin' for that one. Couldn't sit on his bum for two days." Tears were rolling down my face because I laughing so hard,

"All that to impress a girl?"

"Aye, let me tell ya he never tried to be artistic again." I could tell we had come across the school by the sound of the flags in the wind and the distinct sound of laughter and chatter of young students.

"Thanks for walkin' me to work Murphy."

"Was a pleasure lass."

"How early can you and Connor be over Thursday?"

"Normally we get off around eight what with havin' to pull extra shifts but we can switch with a couple of lads and get off at four."

"That sounds perfect. Will I see you before Thursday?" He chuckled,

"Miss me already lass?" I smiled as I felt a blush creep up the back of my neck. I laughed,

"What can I say, you liven up the place."

"I'll be 'round before Thursday. Have a good day with the kiddies lass." He squeezed my hands as he placed a kiss on my cheek,

"You too Murphy, and tell Connor I said hello."

"I will lass." He squeezed my hands once more before he pulled away and began to head off, "Oh! And don't overwork yourself and get hurt again."

"Aye lass, I'll be careful!" I couldn't help but shake my head and smile as I walked into the school.

I made my way down the quiet hall towards my classroom, counting the steps as I went. My room wasn't big, it held about nine desks total along with three tables for the kids in wheel chairs and a desk that sat in the corner near the front of the room. I had an aid that would come in twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday who would take care of decorating the classroom and tidying up a bit as well as run errands for me if I needed them to. His name was William and he was a shy boy for a seventeen year who had the build of a wrestler. He was very tenderhearted and often came around during his study halls on his off days to see if I needed anything. He knew I wasn't helpless and never asked if I needed anything copied or some nonsense like that but would look for tasks like moving desks around, moving books, or redecorating the room. I'd had Will as my aid for two years now and he was still so shy and quiet around me. I often tried to engage him in conversation before finally just giving in to small talk and letting him have his peace and quiet.

I went through my papers and pulled out the tests Murphy and I had graded for the first class which consisted of five kids. This group was my slower reading class. Their reading skills were lacking and I was instructed to bring them up to speed. It was the third month of class and they had all improved quite well since we had first started but there was still a lot of work to be done. The loud shrill sound of the bell alerted me that it was time for the day to begin, and the sound of kids coming down the hall was gradually becoming louder. I sighed, though Monday still remains as the worst day of the week, my Monday had been made a bit more bearable by spending the morning with Murphy.

Murphy couldn't help but smile to himself as he walked home from the school. He enjoyed his morning with Chris and also had learned more about her. Whether she knew it or not, she had revealed a bit more about herself to him and it made him happy that she was comfortable enough around him to let her guard slip up. She had brought up her granddad and talked a little about him which was the most that they had ever breached on the family topic.

He didn't miss the blush on her cheeks either when he called her love or told her she was worth caring about. He had been testing the waters a bit when he decided to use the pet name to see what her reaction would be and he was quite pleased with what he got. It gave him just a little hope that she could possibly have some sort of feelings for him. He wouldn't push it though and would let her decide on where or how fast their relationship would go. Whether they would stay friends or become something more was entirely up to her.

He wasn't kidding though when he told her that she made the most delicious pancakes. His brother was going to hate him for missing out on homemade pancakes. But, he would make it up by telling him about Thursday, something that Murphy was looking forward to himself. The only thing he didn't like though was how far away Thursday felt. He didn't want to wait until Thursday to see her again.

As he climbed the stairs to their apartment he pondered the idea of meeting her for lunch sometime before then or even walking her home from work. When he walked in the door he found Connor fast asleep on his bed in nothin' but his boxers and his dingy bathrobe. Quietly Murphy stripped down to his boxers before shouldering on his own bathrobe and plopping down on his mattress. He smiled as he leaned back onto the mattress with his hands behind his head, yes, walking her home from work sounded like a grand idea. Not only would he get to spend more time with her but he'd also know that she made it home safely.

He knew that she could handle herself; she had proved that this morning, but it didn't stop him from worrying about her. In the few weeks he'd known her she had become an important part of his life. As thoughts of his pale eyed lass swirled around in his head his eyes became heavier and heavier with exhaustion before he fell into a dream invested slumber.

_The room was dark with the light from the fire being the only source of light. He was sitting in a chair and could smell the rain in the air. He felt both warm and cold all at once and could hear the soft sound of a violin playing behind him. The musician played slowly and almost mournfully as each note created a lament that broke his heart. He knew who was playing, how could he not? But why was she so sad? What happened that could make her so sad? _

"_Love, what's wrong?" The music stopped causing Murphy to try and turn around to look at her but he found himself immobile. For a moment silence met his ears causing worry to bubble up in his chest, "Love?" He expected her to answer but instead was met with the sound of screams and crying. His chest tightened at the sound and he struggled to get up. He knew that sound, knew that voice. It was Chris, his Chris, and she was in pain. Terrible, terrible pain. Her screams mingled with the sound of laughter and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get up. His body felt weighted down, he felt like he was drowning. He could do nothing but stare into the fire before him which grew in size before engulfing the little house in flames. Screams, laughter, and burning. Burning the heart out of him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it._


	6. What to make of all this

Murphy was anxious, his dream had left him unnerved, and it rattled him. His worried behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by his brother,

"Murphy, ya alrigh'?" When Murphy looked at his brother Connor could clearly see the worried look in his eyes, "Jesus, what's the matter with ta?"

"Lord's name," Murphy mumbled as he rubbed his eyes, "Jus' had a nightmare is all." Connor furrowed his brow,

"Mus' have been one hell of a dream to have ya spooked like ya are." Murphy stared at his brother for a moment before he let his shoulders slump with a sigh,

"Was 'bout Chris… she was playin' her violin. She didn't say nothin' but the music jus' sounded so sad. She was behind me, I was sittin' in a chair. There was a fire in fron' of me, felt like we were back home. I asked her what was wrong, she started screamin' and cryin'… there was laughin' an' I couldn't move. The fire took over the house an' that was it. I woke up." Connor could see why the dream had bothered him so much. If he was honest it concerned him as well. Dreams could mean anything. Most were just silly, nonsensical things. Some though, some meant more. God had spoken to Joseph in a dream, and he wasn't the only one. And when He spoke to them it was life changing. Sometimes they were warnings and sometimes they were tidings of joy. But when God spoke you listened. Neither one of the brothers took dreams lightly; they knew the difference between a nonsensical dream and message. Connor wasn't sure what to think of his brother's dream. It could be a warning, that something bad was coming for her or it could mean that something bad had **already** happened to her.

"We'll keep an eye on her yeah? Who knows maybe it's not as bad as ya think. Could be somethin' simpler yeah?" It was a weak attempt to sooth his fears but Murphy appreciated it all the same.

"Think I'm gonna walk her home. Peace of mind ya know?" Connor nodded,

"Aye, jus' be sure to come home tonigh'." A chuckle escaped Murphy's lips,

"Very funny. By the way, she invited us over fo' dinner Thursday." A surprised look passed over his face,

"The lass cooks?"

"Aye, she made pancakes this mornin'." Connor gaped at him, "They'd put Ma's to shame."

"Ya a right bastard aren't ya! Ya get homemade pancakes an' didn't think nothin' of your dear ole brother did ya?" He smirked,

"'s why she's havin' us **both **over fo' dinner ya git. Knew you'd throw a hissy fit." Connor spluttered,

"I do not throw hissy fits." Murphy rolled his eyes. The two continued to bicker as they made their way to work, effectively keeping Murphy's mind busy. But once he started working his mind wouldn't stop reeling with the images and sounds of the dream. By the time his shift was over his heart was in agony. He barely shouldered off his uniform and told his brother goodbye before he booked it out the door and to the school.

Nervously, Murphy smoked through his third cigarette waiting for Chris to come out of the building. It was several minutes after the bell before he saw her emerge from the door. He sighed in relief at seeing her unharmed, he stomped out his smoke before he made his way over to her,

"Chris!" Her head snapped towards the sound of his voice,

"Murph?" He smiled,

"Aye lass it's me."

"What are ya doin' here? Not that I don't like seein' ya."

"Jus' thought I could walk ya home is all." She gave him a suspicious look before she took a deep breath causing her to wrinkle her nose,

"You've been smokin', a lot. You only smoke a lot when you're angry, nervous, or upset. So which is it? What's wrong?" For a moment he stared at her, he hadn't realized she'd picked up on his bad habit or that she could tell he'd been smoking,

"It's nothin' lass."

"Murph." He heard the warning in her voice as he looped his arm through hers,

"Jus' had a rough mornin' at home is all."

"Did you an' Connor have a fight?"

"No, no fight. Jus'… didn't sleep well this mornin'." Gently she squeezed his hand,

"Did ya have a nightmare?"

"Yeah…" She licked her lips before quietly asking,

"Was it… was it bad?" He swallowed hard before answering in an equally soft voice,

"Terrifying."

"I have nightmares sometimes. I used to have them all the time, now I just have them every few months." He imagined her waking up in the middle of the night crying and shaking… and all alone. The thought made his heart clench, he didn't like seeing her hurt. In their time together he had never brought up her parents, like Maggie had said, and he never asked how she lost her eyesight. But, there were moments were something someone said or a certain object would cause, for the briefest of moments, a pain filled look to cross her face. He knew the looks were connected to her past and he wanted to help her, and granted he was making progress. She was slowly, almost unconsciously, opening up to him. Bit by bit he was slipping past her defenses, but this did nothing for him now. He wanted to help her **now** and he wasn't entirely sure how. He licked his lips,

"Were they bad?" She sighed and put her head on his shoulder as she whispered back,

"Yeah… they were really bad." Murphy lightly kissed her head,

"If ya ever can't sleep, me brother an' I are always up late an' you're more than welcome to talk with us." She smiled,

"Thanks Murphy, that sounds nice." Murphy took the long way back to her home, wanting to spend more time with her. Of course she knew, she knew exactly how many steps it took to get from work to home, but she enjoyed his company as well. To try and relax Murphy's troubled mind, Chris told him stories of her students. She told him of the things they said and did. He particularly found the one of Patrick, a boy with a mental disorder, calling the grouchy old biology teacher an asshole to be hilarious.

"Sounds like he could be Doc's grandson." She laughed,

"It does! I never thought of that before." As they climbed the few steps to her door Murphy thought about how he didn't want to leave, "Thank you, for walkin' me home." He grinned,

"'s no problem love." She beamed at him,

"You'er sweet Murphy MacManus." She reached out and ran her hand up from his shoulder to cup his cheek before quickly leaning in and kissing him on the cheek before opening her door, "Night Murph!" Murphy stood there dumbfounded as she shut the door. She had moved so fast his brain had to take a moment to comprehend that she had just kissed him. He grinned before whispering,

"G'night love."

I kept my face buried in the couch as I felt the heat radiate off of my face. It was an impulsive and rash decision but I' done it all the same. My face burned and I wished to God I knew what the look on his face was. I wanted to scream at my own stupidity and laugh at how much I'd enjoyed it. As I lied there, I tried to think of a way to play it off if he ever asked brought it up. I could play it off as a friendly kiss, a thank you for caring and walking me home. A friend wouldn't have bolted however if it was just a friendly kiss. I groaned,

"Bloody moron."

Connor watched as his brother walked in with a smile on his face,

"I take it it all went well?"

"Aye." Murphy said nothing as he flopped down on his bed,

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What da hell ya smilin' 'bout?"

"Nothin'." Connor silently observed his brother,

"The lass has ya smiling; more."

"She's got a good heart an' a lot of spirit."

"Aye that she does… but it's more than that isn't it? Ya've got feelin's for her yeah?" Silence fell over the brothers before Murphy quietly spoke,

"I care 'bout her. A lot in fact."

"Ya wanna go out with her." It was more of a statement than a question really. Connor could see the answer plain as day on his brother's face.

"Aye, but I want her to trust me 'fore I ask her." Connor nodded,

"Her parents and her sight."

"Aye, I want her to fully trust me, I wanna help her. Not jus' physically, I can see it in her eyes, the pain. She's good at hidin' it but it comes out now and again. It's deep Connor. It's this deep achin' pain that destroys souls. I wanna make that go away." Connor stared long and hard at him. This was more than just attraction like he first though, he could see how passionately his brother cared about helping her. And not just trying to help her overcome her pain, but to take that pain away entirely. He could see it, even if Murphy didn't know it yet, he could see the beginnings of something akin to love. This was stronger than mere attraction, this was purer than want or lust. Connor smiled softly,

"An' I'm sure ya will Murph. I'm sure ya will."

It wasn't long before Thursday arrived and I was actually excited. It had been years since I last cooked a proper meal for someone and I missed it. I had left work right after the bell rang and stopped by the market on my way home, picking up some vegetables, spices, and lamb for the stew. I made a quick run into the bakery and bought a loaf of hardy bread that was perfect for dipping into stew.

As soon as I got home I tied my apron around my waist and got to work. As time went on, the house quickly began to fill with the smell of stew, making my own mouth water in anticipation. It was almost finished when I heard the doorbell ring, wiping my hands off on the front of my apron I made my way to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Two hungry Irishmen here to see a beautiful lass." I laughed as I opened the door,

"Hello Connor.: He wrapped me up in a tight hug while lifting me off the ground,

"Lass, mmm, smells delicious." As soon as he sat me down and let go I was enveloped in another, softer, pair of arms. I smiled as Murphy kissed my cheek before pulling back,

"Smells wonderful Chris." My cheeks warmed a bit as I took hold of his hand leading him into the house,

"Thanks, I hope ya boys like it." When we reached the kitchen I headed straight for the pot, stirring it for a bit before tasting it, "Think it's done lads."

"Where's ya bowls an' spoons at lass?"

"Oh I can set the table Conn-"

"Nonsense, we'll do it for ya."

"Especially since ya cookin' us such a fine meal." I blushed more as I heard them rummaging through my cabinets,

"Ya haven't even tried it yet." Connor chuckled,

"After what Murph here told me 'bout the pancakes ya made 'im I already know it's gonna be great. I was blushing like mad now.

"Thanks, I hope ya like it." The boys were quick to set the table before Connor handed me his bowl. I ladled out some of the stew for him for which he quickly kissed me on the cheek for before heading to the table. Murphy chuckled,

"Brought your bowl with me." I smiled,

"Thanks Murphy." After I ladled stew into both bowls and turned the stove off Murphy kissed me softly on the cheek. It lingered for a moment or two but it was enough to make me blush. I followed him back to the table where he sat the bowls down. I felt around the table for a moment before I located my spoon and dug in while Connor moaned in delight,

"Mmmmm, Jesus this is good."

"Mmm, Lord's name." I could tell by the muffled sound of his voice that he was shoveling spoonful's of the stew into his mouth.

"Slow down lads, there's more where that came from." They barely slowed down as the sound of them slurping and smacking their lips remained consistent. It felt good to cook for people again, it felt good to smile and laugh. Not long ago, I came to the realization that the boys had become a serious part of my life, they meant as much to me as Maggie did if not more. I had only ever told Maggie about the accident that had taken both my parents and my sight from me but I was beginning to think that Connor and Murphy deserved to know. They had never asked about and never brought it up and I had appreciated that. Now though, I felt the need to tell them. As I listened to them eat their food and bicker between mouthfuls I made up my mind. I was going to tell them, I was going to tell them about the accident and all the horrible events that had lead up to that fateful day so long ago.


End file.
